Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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