We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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