Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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