Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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