Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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