She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
