That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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