It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize