Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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