Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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