The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
