I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
