Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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