you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
