they need to just BURY HIM!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
