where does the pee come out of this thing
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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