another moral hangover. fuck.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
