he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
