It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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