This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
