When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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