i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
