kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We are all done wearing pants today
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