Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
