What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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