she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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