Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
as a side note pls kill me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
