you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
