Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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