I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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