i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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