I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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