New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
