i need an iv and a liver transplant
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
