ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
