nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
