Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize