drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize