My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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