i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
