vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They took my balls.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
