Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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