Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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