He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
