dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
