Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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