The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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