two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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