Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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