I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize