For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
