That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
