So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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