ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
