ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
